Self — To be true or not to be?

We want to put everything into a category with a label and mark it as “understood”.

Anything that challenges any of those neat little categories or clear labels is deemed threatening — 100,000 years of instinct kicks in and the fight and flight response sends adrenaline pumping through our bodies and conflict ensues.

That is all fine and good, but then we pretend that the conflict is about something important to us, our sense of self, but really what is going on is that our fight and flight mode is kicking and we don’t want to back off and be seen as weak. So we keep attacking.

It’s all just thousands of years of evolutionary programming.

It’s no big deal. Arguments, conflict, disagreements — it’s all par for the course of being an animal. I see it all the time in nature. Animals can be mean. Plants can be aggressive.

These days human us animals pretend we are all civilized and proper. To a large degree we have made great strides in that arena, but at the core of it all we are still the 300,000 year old Homo species that we evolved from.

Is there anything more important then being true to yourself?

Since we only have one life to live, I would argue that being true to yourself is certainly high on the list of personal accomplishments that we can hope to shoot for.

This day and age it seems that there is a curious mixture of support for the seeking of your true self, as well as an animosity for any viewpoints that fall outside of the box of simple categories.

We live in a highly connected age, more connected then any humans before us.

And yet we are extremely disconnected from the natural world and what it means to be a human animal at the same time.

Perhaps that is why there is such confusion over simple things, because with a thousand people waiting to disagree with your viewpoint available online, even the simplest viewpoints can be argued about forever.

So fuck that shit. Be your true self and forget the cacophony that echoes inside internet — it has no real bearing on what you truly are or believe.

To be honest, I’ve never be able to shut up and keep my dangerous rebellious thoughts to myself. I question everything. I can’t help it, it is just the way I am wired.

I question the existence of god, of vegans, of all the titles and roles of society. I wonder if there is any such thing as religion and if I can be a better person. I think about how to make my day better by getting rid of all the bullshit that I have accumulated in all my years of being alive. I wonder if it is all that important to eat my vegetables. I try a different layout of my office.

I never stop questioning, and I never stop changing. I act on what I find, and I discard old ideas as needed.

Being true to myself means believing that there is something at the core of me that makes me who I am, that I will not compromise, that is always there regardless of the circumstances of my life.

I believe that every one has a true self, but many people have been beaten down by their lives and hide it under a blanket of comfortable categories.

Our soul, spirit, or prana — whatever the fuck our true self is, it is real.

After meditating for years, I found that most of what I thought of as my true self was bullshit. Actually, that is ongoing daily process — a search and destroy mission of my personal bullshit.

All living things have a consciousness, of course. All living things are sentient — living implies using some sort of sense to survive.

The core of that consciousness is our true selves. We gotta go to bat for that guy every day.

When do we feel most alive and happy? When we are fulfilling the expression of our true selves. When we bask in whatever joys we find that cultivate our true selves. When we get rid of all that cultural baggage and simply exist in the now.

We are truly whatever the fuck we are, and we will truly never understand what we are using language, but we can sure give it a try!

Our true selves are always there — like Buddha nature or sainthood, we are simply a conscious step away from who we truly are.

Most kids are already there. Then they get it beaten out of them over the years.

So we have to go backward and realize all that cultural crap is not helping.

Actually, we don’t have to do anything.

Don’t do anything — that is fine. Nobody really cares about your journey, except you.

You have to take ownership of your life, nobody else has that responsibility.

I asked myself, for the longest time: How do I take ownership of my life? Aren’t there a thousand things that I have to contend with before I can do that?

That is one myth.

It can’t wait for later — it has to happen when you are conscious.

Like Buddha, when we awaken we have to do something about it.

And I think a large part of that process is to be true to your self, and to not be afraid to speak your mind or follow your heart.